52 Week Song Cycle #29
Faith (c) 2010 Mattroi Berger
After the less than stellar tune that was week 23’s I Resolve, I strayed away from my promise to experiment as much as I should. The experience of putting out such a dissonant and unorganized piece (however much I like the *idea* of the thing) shamed me back to what comes easily. The last month or so of songs have been firmly in my safety zone, and week 29 was probably going to be more of the same, until I decided to take a listen back over the entire song cycle.
There’s a lot of variation in there - different rhythms, lyrical styles, genres, tempos, ideas - but, looking over it all, I began to realize that every song to this point has been guitar-driven. Every last one. And about 90% of the tracks began life as a programmed drum beat off my handy Zoom MRT-3 Micro RhythmTrak, before having guitar slathered over them. I figured, if I was ever going to leave the beaten path again, I was going to have to leave programmed beats, and, though it’s my weapon of choice, throw the guitar to the curb for a bit.
What I came up with is certainly something I haven’t tried before all together, though it has bits of things I’ve done and like doing - arpeggiated synth parts, split-mixed percussion, layered and distorted vocals, etc. To that mix I added a softer, emptier (though, for old times’ sake, still off-key) vocal delivery and a number of little DIY mixing and reverb tricks. I was aiming to create something other-worldly and fragile, with a bit of a pick up at the end. I can’t say if I got there, but I certainly have something that sets itself aside from the pack.
The lyrics are a conversation, probably one that I have with myself from time to time - Someone says that Faith is false hope; someone else says that it’s wings. Not sure where I fall at any moment, but I got the feeling, as I was writing the second verse, that I was speaking to myself about a year ago, and giving myself the advice I wish I’d been able to listen to then.
Music and Lyrics by Mattroi
***
What you saw?
What’s the sign?
What you say?
What is ‘Faith?’
It’s all the mind.
It’s all excited,
What you saw.
Hope, called astray.
And, oh, if all you see is a sign,
It’s only night.
It’s a trick of the light.
…
What’s the con?
What’s the pride?
Knowing all,
Though you never find.
If I’m blind
What’s to say
World behind -
Doubt is weight.
And, oh, if all you see is a sign,
Return the light,
Make an oath to the night:
I won’t be coming back no more…
